We Beat Fox News At Their Own Hot-Winded Game

I was going to write one of these myself, but to be honest this is just too perfect to be tampered with:

Democrats' New 25-Point Manifesto for Congress.

Congress Is Dead. Long Live Congress.

The Dems took the house. Then they took the Governorships. Then Rick Santorum's kid flipped us all off. Then Rumsfeld resigned and the Dems took Montana. Like, at the same time. It was, like, the best minute EVER! Now Senator Macaca has bowed out as well and the Dems have control of all of congress. Man, we're in charge of one entire branch of government. That means we have, like, a mandate or something. That means we can do what we want. Yup, no way that this could possibly go wrong.

Thank God this whole messy midterm business is finally over. Now all of us politicos can stop making impassioned speeches about how important local politics are and that you should go out and vote in a midterm election that is so much less glamorous because instead of 2 candidates we have literally almost 1,000 and get back to asking the burning question that we all really want to ask: Who is going to fuck up the country from the oval office next?

Not wanting to keep us idle for long, here comes the first oval office fucker out the gate:

Tom Vilsack, Democratic governor of Iowa, has announced that he is running for president. He's doing this presumably to take advantage of some of the national spotlight and while apparently ignorant of the fact that his last name is Vilsack.

You go, Tommy! Don't let all that pro-Democrat ink dry just yet. There's a corn caucus out there somewhere and you're going to be in it.

Tony Snow Tries To Slip One In

Tony Snow was on-message this morning, although I'm not sure which message he was on. When asked about the events of what is sure to be known as Black Tuesday for the Rs for at least the next couple of years, he made this not-so-subtle reply:

Bush will deliver the message that "the problems we faced this morning are the same problems we'll face tomorrow: winning the war in Iraq, keeping the economy together, working on renewing No Child Left Behind," said White House Press Secretary Tony Snow.

'Cause, you know, No Child Left Behind was such a major campaign issue in this election cycle. Anyone want to take bets on what the administration's second game of legislative tag is going to look like?

Kitty Harris Gets Cockblocked By Karl Rove

From WaPo today, the president got a little embarrassed by himself getting stood up by the Republican candidate for Governor of the state of Florida. Turns out the candidate didn't want to be seen with Bush in light of his election race being so close. The president had to give his stump speech sans candidate. But, our favorite delusional member of congress tried her hardest to get in. If only the president's staff wasn't so...well, literate and aware.

Here you go:

With Crist as a no-show, Bush was joined on stage by a host of Florida Republicans _ but not by Republican Rep. Katherine Harris. She has run a much-panned Senate race that has had her Republican elders cringing and both the president and his brother keeping their distance. After appearing as a warmup speaker before Bush arrived, Harris was given a spot in the audience well out of any camera shot of the stage.

Damn, I love politics.

This Just In: Greta Van Susteren Endorses Waterboarding

Hard to believe that this never made it onto America's Funniest Home Videos.

http://www.wonkette.com/politics/fox/fox-news-correspondent-gets-waterboarded-212761.php